I have opened my blog at least 10 times today, then I close it. I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS BLOG. did you hear me, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS BLOG.


last night at 7:55pm I got the call. it was Amanda she told me that she had some bad news to tell me. Then the next thing she said She cut out on. I asked her what she said and i heard it that time "Matt Passed Away" what did you day "Matt's gone" what Manda this is not funny don't lie, " i am not Lying" yes you are, and it is not funny, her talking to someone in the car"she does not Believe me" Manda this is not funny. "Jo I would not lie about me brother dying" OMG OMG I walked in to the other room and then into my room with Chris fallowing be hind me. I just looked at him and said he is gone, we deiced to Waite to tell the boys till after diner and I could not stop crying it was not the quite crying but the loud painful your best Friend just died cry, the boys were behind me so fast that I could not stop it. I sent Chris to go be with Manda and my sister and Tracy came and sat with me.

Garren asked us how we are going to get a long with out him. I could not answer because I am not sure. He was my brother and my kids love him almost as much as Chris and I. Jaeden is trying to be so strong, but I know that is litte hart is broken.

Chris keeps asking when it will get better, And I am just not sure, I unlike him have lost loved ones, he watched as I said goodbye to my grandparents, but that was different they had lived full lives, they were not taken at 30. I told my mom that I was not supposed to Berry Matt it was not fair, Her my Dad Aunt sister that is one thing I am sure it will hurt like hell but they are older then me and would have lived full lives, Matt was 11 months younger. I always thought I would have more time with him. That he would be their when the boys got out of school and married and had their own kids. I always thought that Matt would have time to meet someone fall in love and have more babies. I fell robed and it was not my life that got cut short. I guess when you love someone the way we did Matt and he is just gone it is hard not to fell robbed. not only for him but also us. I dumb saying "time will heal all things"in my head i dont like that saying and it relly pissing me off.

Matt we love you and Miss you already, I keep seeing your name in my cell and it makes me want to cry, but I think I am just going to keep it in thier evan when I get a new phone.

-J

Please dont call me to babysit your kids, You my have a life by going out 5 nights a week, but I have one to I may not go out but that is because I am a mom. and show up for work vary day. So when you call me at 9:30 on a school night I am not going to watch your kids. they should be at home in bed like you so that you can come to work the next day. Your kids are brats and cry the whole time you are gone. the big one walks around touching things that he shouldnt and does not listen at all. I get that you are 25 and that you like to go and have a good time, I did to but you no what i did that before I was a mom. and now i still like to go out and have a good time but i go out like 3 times a year. becuse I am a mom. get a clue and stay home and maybe close your legs and you would not be worred about have # 4 arledy.


thanks
_j

Dear neighbors,

I understand that you have had a hard year, with the boy going to jail and all, I get that he was just dropped in your lap and that he had a hard life. I understand I do. I have to talk to you about your dog. I have a dog that will bark at anything that goes behind the house, it does not matter if it is a car, person, or animal she is going to let me know that some thing is in the back of the house. BUT we don't leave her outside. PLEASE bring your dog in, This is Texas and it does not get cold here vary often but when is does bring in your dog, would you want to sleep outside in the cold......no........ well your dog does not want to ether.BRING HER IN. one more thing you live two doors down when your dog barks and wakes us up I know that you hear it, please drag your lazy butt out of bed and get her. You don't have a job, and now that the boy is in jail you don't have kids in school so I get that you don't have to get up at 6:00 AM but we do!!!!! BRING IN YOUR DOGS OR I AM CALLING THE POPO!!!!!!


thank you,
your neighbor two doors down

Ok my Dr. ROCKS!!!!

I went to my old dr this week, It was so bad, I went to the car called the hubby and started crying, it was bad. When I was young and first got marred i weighed 115 or so. I had my oldest boy at 21 and took the eating for 2 way to far. I lost about half if it before i had the youngest son, i did so good i only gained 24 pounds..... sounds good right don't forget get about the other 40 that i did not lose. And then it stoped i sit here with half the wight from the 1st baby all the wight from the last one it sucks, the old dr just told me i was fat and eat to much um yah bite me!!! my new dr asked me about my family how much does my mom and dad weigh. and told me that due to the fact that they are both over wight then that is part of the reason that I am, I know that may not sound like good news to most but it was music to my ears. any my new dr. took the time and talked to me we were together for over an hour I don't think my OB spent that much time me when I was in labor. lol any he is from are Church he does not charge you pay what you can when you. how cool is that. He was so nice and i feel so much better about my wight.


So i have to deiced to not push my self to much this month the hubby and I are going to Mexico at the of this month and i don't want to be oh i cant eat this or I cant eat that, so 2-2-09 is the big day I am going to start the proses to stop smoking and start working and eating good. look out kids you will be eating what Mom eats...

-J

my 1st bolg

My first blog!!!!

Ok I think the only one who is going to read this is me and my hubby. And that is ok.


This blog is going to be my diary, Here i will talk about my day at the office with the old man. My kids and hubby. and about my wight loss and quitting smoking.

For the last few months i have been getting a tingly feeling in my hands and feet, also my wight is way out of control ( ok maybe it is not that bad) i am 5'6ish I say ish because my back is messed up and some days i am 5'6 some days i am 5'5 or 5'7, but anyway today i am at 180 ewwww I dont like saying that. But I have 2 boys and still think i can eat like i was 17 and 117 ilbs. so today i saw the Dr. he was aswsome told about the test that i had run i did not have to tell him about what PPMD is or how yes you can have an IUD for 7 years. anyway he is awsome Hubby and I both fleat so good after seeing him. We talked about things I could do to take off the puonds this was not one of them but i think it will help. I also talked to him about me stoping somking. I cant wate!!! I am a little worred about what will happen when I do qoute most flokes gain a ton of wight and that is not something that i need to do. but like told him it is going to take such a long time to bring done my whight i dont think i can wate anymore. so that brings me here to blog, about how i am feeling and just day to day life.

I will post more about my Dr soon.

-j